Leap year list #6

Brew my own beer. I found a supplier and a recipes :)

We have a good thing

Let go of fear, turned off the online profile, and I'm enjoying the moment.  It feels great to live in the present! Thanks Dad!

Dad's advice

"Stop freaking out or I will wallop you!" 

Stop freaking out....right Dad! This guy has potential, baggage included and this time around they seem to mesh. I'm struggling with the attention.  He wants to be around me, talk with me, likes to call, willing to go my pace. We even started out as friends.  I should be really excited. What's holding me back? I feel myself wanting to argue points that I deep down agree with...also known as sabotage.  

Dad is right, I need to stop freaking out.

Why am I more comfortable in relationships that are messed up? Why do I listen to the guy that tells me it's always my fault, my quirks, my space, my lifestyle, my animals, my talking, my energy, my dress, my friends, my age, my cuddling, my processing, and one more...me. Looking into my heart I can't understand it's desire. If I say I want a partner, a person that loves to spend time together, wants a family someday, to be social with my friends, supports my ambition and vice versa, loves kissing, likes to explore, doesn't mind my animals and our routine, wants to be involved, listens to my whole story and asks questions, and loves me in the end after all of this....then why Heart do I feel you retreating to your cave? Why do you still want someone unstable and unable to commit?  How are you and my head going to sabotage this one? Will you have me kiss a stranger...thats my MO. Will you make my heart believe that people can change?  Will you have me fixate on something about the person that will drive me nuts in the end? 

My Dad said to slow down, live in the moment and let happiness come.  I have been running away for six years.  It's long enough.  

My Dad is a smart man.